How to love, serve, and pray for them
I didn’t give much thought to birth mothers before I knew one. My heart for them has grown since hearing some of their stories and struggles.
Expectant mothers in crisis are usually presented with the option to either abort or parent their baby. Sometimes, neither of these options is possible. We want every expectant mother to choose life for her baby, but parenting may not be possible for them. An adoption is a third option – the decision to place their baby with a loving family at birth. This is a hard decision. It is a woman who loves her baby and is choosing life, but is facing very difficult circumstances. She chooses what she believes is best for her baby – a family that can offer love, stability, and provision. This type of decision requires selflessness and sacrifice. She spares her baby from death or the foster care system. She makes a brave decision, an intentional plan, and then she leaves the hospital alone. While we rejoice with new adoptive families, we tend to forget the birth mothers who are left to mourn their loss alone.
People may approach open adoption with caution and fear. It is hard to imagine adoptees having a relationship with their adoptive parents and birth parents. In an open adoption, we have the opportunity to know, love, and build a relationship with our baby’s first family. We want our girl to know her birth parents and have a relationship with them. They are a huge part of who she is – they gave her life. She looks like them and shares their heritage. We love them from the overflow of our love for her, and there is nothing to lose by loving them.
My desire is for us to remember birth mothers. You and I should see their value and build relationships with them. We need to share with them the truth of the gospel that each of us desperately needs. We can faithfully pray for them. We need to support the agencies that provide resources for them.
I wrote this prayer for the birth mother that I know and love. I hope that it helps you enter into a deep and intentional time of petition for the birth mothers of the world.
Father, you are the God of hope.1
You are near to the broken-hearted and You save those crushed in spirit.2
We come to you on behalf of the birth mother and urge you to remember her.
Give her peace and comfort wherever she is right now.
Assure her of a well-made decision, and be with her as she grieves what she lost.
Provide for her needs and allow her to see Your provision.
The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.3
Father, surround her with people that will love her earnestly.
Urge them to show hospitality to her without grumbling.
Equip them to use their spiritual gifts to serve her.
As they love and serve her as a demonstration of Your perfect love,
may You be glorified.4 Father, when I am to go to her, make it known.
Open my eyes and move me to action.
Use me to love her not just in word and talk, but in deed and truth.5
Oh, that she will know the truth, and the truth will set her free.6
You, alone, Lord can set her free from bondage or oppression
and fill her with joy and peace.7
Convict her heart to confess her sins and trust that you are faithful
and just to forgive her sins and to cleanse her from all unrighteousness.8
Give her redemption through the blood of Jesus and forgive her trespasses.9
Blot out her transgressions, redeem her, and bring her into a relationship with You.10
We know that the sufferings of the present time
are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.11
Thank you, Lord, for her life. Thank you for her choice to give life to her baby.
May You be glorified. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
- Romans 15:13
- Psalm 34:18
- Psalm 34:10
- 1 Peter 4:8-11
- 1 John 3:18
- John 8:32
- Romans 15:13
- 1 John 1:9
- Ephesians 1:7
- Isaiah 44:22
- Psalm 34:18
Brittany K. Miller 